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Hello, unidentified living creature.

about me


a sleeper 寝るのが好きです
a cat lover   猫が大好きです
lazy and broke   怠惰と無一文
a shoppaholic  “ショッパホリク”だぜ

MYSPACE プーぺ FACEBOOK

the crapper
drop off some timber

archives
Once Upon a [F*kN] Time

  • April 2008
  • May 2008
  • July 2008
  • August 2008
  • September 2008
  • October 2008
  • November 2008
  • my toys
    play more, and you will age less

    exits
    get insured first and dont crash on your way out

  • the lynn
  • the abnormal
  • the kiaper
  • the gambler
  • the sakazaki
  • the deceit
  • the comrade
  • the lolita
  • the past and the future
  • the baby
  • the system
  • the S-inc
  • de fille
  • the peace
  • the cats
  • the putu
  • the swimmer
  • the sexy
  • the banana
  • Designer
    You Held So Much of Me
    Tuesday, April 29, 2008 { 02:06 }







    how can someone like you not sing anymore?
    you held so much of the most innocent and precious memories of my life with you.
    i didnt choose your music.

    your music chose me.

    it never changes and i know it will always feel the same every single time i hear this song.
    one day, the world will forget you... and the world will forget me.
    i will not remember a lot of things... perhaps not even my name.
    but i know i will remember every bit of feeling i felt when this song came into my life. you helped me to remember and feel.

    so many years ago, you touch this corner of my heart with the thoughts you so carefully placed into your song.

    11 years years later, you touch my soul with the story you wrote in its lyrics.



    you set out on the sea
    to protect the one you love
    to build something of value
    you came all this way
    fighting through the storm
    surviving the high winds


    this port is a good place
    the morning sun is lovely
    some people settle down here for good
    rest as long as you like
    heal your tired wings


    but by the time you've passed under the arch of flying fish
    and treasure island is in sight
    do you believe you can remain the same
    having lost nothing at all?


    people are weak
    so very weak


    don't look off in the distance
    talking about the future of your beloved
    can you hear the voice?
    "come to my room"
    "i'll give you something sweet"
    "i'll hold you in my arms"


    you made a solemn vow, didn't you?
    i know all about that.
    "we loved each other so much."
    you reassured each other again and again
    and you left the island, believing


    but by the time you've passed under the arch of flying fish
    and treasure island is in sight
    your princess will be grinding her hips
    with someone else


    people are strong
    so very strong


    that's right; by the time you've passed under the arch of flying fish
    and treasure island is in sight
    do you believe you can remain the same
    having lost nothing at all?


    i'm sure that by the time you've passed under the arch of flying fish
    and treasure island is in sight
    your princess will be grinding her hips
    with someone else







    people are so strong



    yet so very fragile





    "do you think you can remain the same...
    having lost so much?"


    How Much Is Your 100%
    Tuesday, April 22, 2008 { 01:54 }







    thats one finger for the person who told a clown to tell me the importance of staying away from my boyfriend at work.
    heres the saying for today:

    you didnt get laid enough to understand and tolerate intimacy. poor fucking you.

    and it is this same person who urged HODs to go remind every one of us undervalued, lowly-paid executives how crucial PUNCTUALITY is when it comes to determining our mid-year bonuses.
    so fucken punctuality takes a 30% slice out of our bonuses.

    big deal.

    you think i am naive enough to believe you are paying me thousands?
    30% off the measly bonus for a consistently underpaid executive, all of which is subjected to the mercy of the HOD's [appraisal]<-- not going to be good in my case.

    i say fuck it and FUCK YOU (verbally. no gruesome sex, no thanks, fuck off)

    bad mood doesnt help things.
    and it spreads to others.

    i got bitten by werebit today. i think the moon came out and shone on her when i wasnt home. she turned round and tried to take a piece of me when her mouth was stuffed full with dried peas. i thank the peas for saving my flesh.
    the werebit got smacks and no extra snacks after that.

    one day i will be punctual. that will be the day i bring werebit to office.
    that will be the morning the above-mentioned fucker discovers a puddle of smelly pee on his desk when he comes in to work at his usual 9[fucking]15 am.
    i wonder who is going to pocket the 30% of his bonus. maybe i can keep his, and he can have mine. (fucker obviously gets paid more than i do)

    took a personality test like the one lynn did on her live journal.


    My Personality
    Neuroticism
    79
    Extraversion
    17
    Openness to Experience
    67
    Agreeableness
    44
    Conscientiousness
    36

    You do not feel nervous in social situations, and have a good impression of what others think of you, however you experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress. You tend not to talk much and prefer to let others control the activities of groups. You prefer dealing with either people or things rather than ideas. You regard intellectual exercises as a waste of your time. You see no need for pretense or manipulation when dealing with others and are therefore candid, frank and sincere. People find it relatively easy to relate to you, however you do not particularly like helping other people. Requests for help feel like an imposition on your time. You are well-organized and like to live according to routines and schedules. Often you will keep lists and make plans.

    Take a Personality Test now or view the full Personality Report.

    The best Ugg Boots.



    it is supposed to be pretty accurate.
    but i am certainly not the best person to "relate" to at this point in time.





    Punchality



    the blow delivered at the optinum time





    "i have got stretch marks... very ugly."

    ive got a stretched patience.
    the outcome is way uglier.
    trust me.


    It Is Only Mid-Month
    Saturday, April 19, 2008 { 02:08 }







    yup. thats the look on teh face when i checked out the digits sitting in my bank account.

    it is only mid-month....

    seriously, where did it all go?
    a badass pink chopper stingray bike, one fancy bag, couple of t-shirts, bills, money to family people, birthday present, toys, entertainment in the arcade, food, transport, and this is all thats left?!
    i am not earning enough for something like me to start saving (or surviving for that matter). i should earn more and spend less.... because i like to walk around with money in my pockets.

    i cried alot recently. it is not unusual but it is getting really tiring.
    if i can hit one button and turn back time i swear i will never end up spending so much of this part of my life crying.

    i think of myspace recently too. if i have a better digital camera i think i may go back to fool around. i miss cheating people online.
    come to think about it, if i have a good digi-cam i will go back to poupee too.
    i have new junk to post and i want to feel girlish playing paperdoll games.
    it will give me something to link to as well...

    ... but i have no such cam so fuck it.





    my lg phone takes better pictures than the crap of a digi-cam i own now



    just pretend i am not in lolita dress ok?





    "the moth is so small and innocent, why would i want to hurt it?"

    then why the fuck do you make me cry for two days?


    If It Were This Easy
    Sunday, April 13, 2008 { 18:52 }






    i spent precious free moments of my life locked up in my room rocking away on a toy guitar. the music was awesome.... just like the awesome music that is supposed to come from my electrical guitar which i dont even know how to hold properly, let alone play.

    i am still waiting for a guitar saint to come along and pass me his 70 years worth of guitar experience with a forceful push on my back... just like the way that teenage monk managed to get his invicible fighting prowess in the Chinese kung fu drama that my parents watch every single night.
    that sure is an efficient way to transfer data.

    talking about communication technology, maybe we should all revert back to the old ways of back-pushing, chest-slapping, meditating energy transfer.
    no more uploading and downloading processes that would take 6 hours to complete and hang at 99%.
    all you need is the person you are dealing with and yourself.... and maybe a bit of space to sit around and fly up and down when necessary.

    anyways, i was blown away (literally, with my speakers going at full blast) by the rock songs of Guitar Heroes 3.
    a better player would probably be able to hold her ground against such hardcore riffs but not me. i lay sprawled in a disheveled mess at the bottom of my bed after every session.
    but i keep coming back for more.

    werebit readies herself for the show everytime i plugged in the controller.
    and knowing that she watches, i know i rocked harder than i dare to in front of anyone else.
    i cant help feeling that she is impressed with my playing because everytime i turned round to see her, her ears would be raised intently as if asking for more.


    i got a round stuffed thing from the arcade toy machine.
    it looks reasonably retarded and i love it.
    my friends know it as the testicle and hence a testicle it shall be called from now on.





    it is a freaking huge testicle



    ive got balls





    "you have a bank here."

    it is always so much more fun to play senseless games with someone like you.


    New Words in My Dictionary
    Friday, April 11, 2008 { 01:31 }




    time flew and crawled during my stay this one and a half years.
    here are some of the terms and words i discovered during my stay here.


    Cc - couldn't care
    you sent out an email including the relevant people of authority in the Cc list and was surprised when they eventually do not know what the heck was going on

    PMS - Pre-Meeting Slowness
    the phenomenon associated with the air of lethargy that arises at the nick of your scheduled meeting time

    HR - Horrifically Rude
    you sat wondering what just hit you after assisting the HR personnel with some queries

    HOD - Horror Of Department
    you fidget in the midst of off-topic, lack-focus, no-brainer suggestions during your proposal session

    CCU - Completely Clueless Users
    eventually the plan is to up the whites CCU by bringing lots of blacks to an all-white party because we have so many active blacks and very little whites in our territory

    ARPU - Average Runaway Per User
    your targeted specimen decides to try out the competitor's cheap titles during the commencement of your increase-ARPU-plans

    NDA - New Dispatchment Alternative
    and suddenly EVERYONE is given a DEADline to sign a NDA under the unfelt presence of the HR personnel

    SOP - Slacker's Operation Procedure
    you send out your year end event webnews brief in April

    MC - Missing Consent
    you are reminded to submit your MC or you will be given unpaid leave for going MIA

    IM - Insignificant Marketing
    you listened blankly as your HOD advised the team on how to cross into the IM boundry in the process of drafting product marketing programs

    A&P - Agony & Pain
    you comtemplate asking your A&P colleague to spin a couple of bucks out of thin air for you if she succeeded in completing her A&P efforts for the proposed budgetless product

    budget - one malleable magic number thrown among 9 products whenever the weather changes.

    events - a series of outdoor maddness conjured up by one or two lowly-paid, overworked, undervalued full-timers.

    handbook - a collection of gospel truth from the HR departmnent. to be read before you ask anything. can be printed out and used as a two-handed blunt weapon.

    fishtank - a place where you would like to sit in all day but is too intelligent to qualify for a position. =(

    directors meeting - fishes talking

    resignation - the outcome of not signing the NDA in time

    redesignation - the permission to discard your old truck of dung for a new truck of shit, but somehow people continue to come to you for dung.

    off-in-lieu - a proof and measure of sacrifice and hardwork in future value.

    punctuality - the dictator of time and universe here.... because it gives you your increment.



    werebit doesnt work and couldnt understand shit



    hence she is at peace



    "... it's like bird shit only a hundred times more ..."

    i want to see it for myself.


    Hello Blogger
    Sunday, April 6, 2008 { 05:48 }







    after a year and a half of going missing.

    this is a new blog to mark a slightly different phase of my no longer single life.



    this is a recent picture of a more haggard and very old me





    "you are beautiful." he said to me

    strangely, i believed him.